sete de bucuresti

*** Acesta este al doilea dintr-o serie de trei eseuri (inspirata de urmatoarea carte). Text publicat original in update-ul tematic “Bucuresti” pe dbrom.ro in 2002. Primul eseu, “Hotul dumneavoastra” il gasiti aici.

Strada Sfintilor

am baut ultima gura de cola din cana mea rosie cu ferrari. inca imi e sete, dar nu mai am nimic de baut. trebuie sa scriu despre bucuresti si imi dau seama ca nu pot scrie despre bucuresti fara sa am ceva lichid langa mine. nu pot scrie cand setea face legea. nu despre bucuresti. nu, nici macar un rand. bucurestiul este atat de fluid, atat de imaterial incat nu capata consistenta decat turnat intr-o cana, o ceasca, o sticla, un pahar, sau intr-o cutie…. bucurestiul curge…

bucurestiul e noaptea de langa cana cu cola cand in centrul universului nu existi decat tu si orasul. apartin orasului si orasul imi apartine. as putea sa pun bucurestiul in buzunar si sa o sterg pe furis de pe planeta. fara sa intreb pe nimeni. as avea toate bulevardele luminate si strazile obscure zbatandu-se la mine in buzunar. o portie infima de cofeina cu zahar si as deveni dumnezeu peste oras…

o sticla de bere si zgomot. bucurestiul se agita si tipa langa mine. il privesc in fata cu ochii in ceata si incerc sa il conving sa stam jos la o discutie linistita. imi arata degetul mijlociu si se inconjoara de alte milioane de suflete. il privesc printre reflexele verzui ale sticlei si clipesc incet. “inca o bere” voi spune incercand sa imi recap orasul. il urasc cand apartine tuturor.

ginul miroase a fum… ma sufoca bucurestiul… alerg pe strazi si nu le mai recunosc. tonicul imi mangaie gatlejul. toate ulitele se invart si nu ma lasa sa scap. am aruncat si gheata si lamaia din paharul de gin, dar nu ii pot stavili furia. nu ma lasa sa beau gin pe teritoriul lui. e prea linistita bautura pentru un oras-fiara… imi sparge paharul la picioare si imi intoarce spatele. raman intr-o statie pe unde niciodata nu va mai trece nimic…

las vinul sa imi curga printre degete si apoi in apa din cada. bucurestiul e pisica care se gudura la picioarele mele. linge picaturile de vin de pe degetele mele si clipeste incet. furia i sa topit sub mirosul dulceag. as putea sa-l las acolo ametit si uitat de lume si sa plec fara el. dar nu pot. il iau in brate si il invelesc cu plapuma mea. eu dorm lipit de fereastra. nu se vede orasul, pentru ca doarme sub plapuma mea. ma vad doar pe mine.

ceaiul e paletiv pentru durerile de cap. imi aranjeaza alfabetic gandurile si le da corenta si culoare. bucurestiul sta lungit cat e de lat. e intins si imposibil de cuprins. isi construieste simultan trecutul, prezentul si viitorul. e indiferent fata de mine. imi accepta prezenta. accepta sa imi construiesc viata in perimetrul pe care mi-l ofera. ii e totuna. voi muri inaintea lui, iar astazi pur si simplu i se indoaie de asta.

stie ca nu il voi strange niciodata atat de strans cum strang uneori cana de capuccino dimineata. atunci il vad privindu-ma din strada. stau in geam cu ochii inchisi si nu ma intereseaza decat un singur lucru in acel moment. persoana mea. nu apartin orasului si realitatii lui. nu imi apartin decat mie si pot oricand sa-l arunc in cutia cu amintiri.

stie si se teme de momentele acestea. dar stie ca voi schimba cana cu altceva. acum e liniste pe masa. toate canile, cestile si paharele mele sunt goale. bucurestiul e in mine.

Seventh Inning Stretch

My visits to Washington’s RFK Stadium to see the Washington Nationals have made me love baseball and the experience of attending the ballgame. This past Saturday I decided it was time to take the camera with me and capture some of the atmosphere on video. While this game provided little action on the field, there was always the seventh inning stretch. Watch below:

World Cup 2006 predictions

England wins the 2006 World Cup in Germany–at least that’s what my personal predictions say. And you know what they say about predictions: you’d better make them with your heart unless you want to find yourself cheering for teams you don’t care about (ahem, Italy) just because a cool-headed analysis forced you to pick them.

Mypredictions.jpgYou can download my predictions in an Excel format here.

You can also use this blank nifty Excel sheet made by these guys to produce your own predictions.

If you are so inclined to look at my version of the World Cup, you will notice much personal bias directed towards England and the Netherlands. In my world they both reach the semi-finals and England ends up winning the thing. I’m betting on Australia and Sweden to be the nice surprises. I also believe Germany and Argentina will disappoint, and no African team will be able to hold it together enough to make the second round. South Korea makes the second round but loses in a penalty shoot-out (about time). USA to the second round? Not this time–Nedved’s knees will last just long enough.

Run your World Cup and tell us about the winners in the comments section. A couple of my friends have already went through the process and so far we have as winners: England (2 votes), Czech Republic (2 votes) and Brazil (2 votes).

Here are some more links in case you are lusting for World Cup information:
Fifa World Cup Germany 2006 (official site)
BBC Sport World Cup
ESPN SoccerNet
New York Times World Cup blog
World Cup Kickoff (calendar for your Outlook)

What is Romania?

Sitting down at my computer, I was ready to take my country apart, rip it to shreds. I’ve just finished reading Lucian Boia’s “Romania, tara de frontiera a Europei” (Romania, borderland of Europe) and felt a surge of anger at the teachers that shaped my childhood and at myself.

Some context first. I’ve not read anything of Boia before (he is a history professor at the University of Bucharest) or heard much about him. I picked up the book last winter on a visit home because I had become haunted by the question of Romania. What is Romania? It was a natural progression after asking for more than two years: “What is America?” As the answers to my second questions kept coming I realized I lacked that knowledge about my country. I wanted to be able to grasp intellectually what my country meant and needed some material to turn to.

Boia sets out to answer this question in his book and in my mind, he does a decent job of it. What he says is something I have been feeling but probably never articulated quite so forcefully: Romania is not a mythical entity, nor a chosen land with a people tricked by history, nor an idea always persecuted and undermined by the vile West. It’s just another country with its ups and downs, highs and lows, succeses and failures.

In dissecting the historical record of the language, the people, the territories, Boia doesn’t necessarily bring out new facts to life, but he offers a non-partisan and non-nationalistic view of the Romanian nation. This is not a patriotic treaty of victimisation, and it is its straight forwardness that has sparked my anger.

Not at Boia, but at the people who taught me I should believe in rotten revisionism, the story of a country that could have been more if it weren’t made to fight off invaders and protect Europe. What loads of bullshit. Certainly, every country has its myths and every country cultivates nationalism to various degrees. Still, I can’t help feeling betrayed by communism and the first decade that followed its toppling for wanting to eliminate my capacity to be critical of my country, its history and its culture.

When this winter I criticized my country in an op-ed in the Christian Science Monitor, I was branded as a traitor, someone who doesn’t respect or love the homeland. It is this victim-prone heritage and the incapacity of being self-critical that Boia criticizes (he has been in turn branded as being anti-Romani) and that many of my fellow countrymen lack.

I wanted to expand on some of his ideas and take apart the blind right-wing nationalistic instincts some Romanians have. But I won’t. Why? Because I realized that I had done something similar in the past, albeit in a more naive fashion. Here you can find the first of three essays that speak about Romania–they all appeared on dbrom.ro.

My apologies to English speakers–they are all in Romanian. But you could always enjoyed our national obsessions–as seen here in a self-serving (failed attempt at satire) beer commercial.

Hotul dumneavoastra

*** Acesta este primul dintr-o serie de trei eseuri (pornita de aici). Text publicat original in update-ul tematic “Furtul la romani” pe dbrom.ro in 2002.

Romaniacelor care mi-au furat televizorul….

cand nu fura, vinde ce a furat. e rapid, dibace si neobosit. e o masina care ar putea trai fara mancare, fara bautura, fara somn – cu conditia sa aiba ce fura. e un animal dresat in romania si poate cel mai bun produs de export al natiei. hotul. cap de afis si element mitic.

a aparut in vremuri imemoriale cand furandu-i lui decebal caciula l-a facut pe aceasta sa-si ia vena de nervi. i-a furat lui basarab femeia aruncandu-l intr-un fetis bolnav de rostogolit bolovani. i-a furat lui mircea raul si mai apoi ramul. lui stefan i-a furat-o pe vrancioaia si i-a lasat feciorii. lui mihai i-a luat barda, iar lui tepes i-a furat prima schita din proiectul draculian.

lui balcescu i-a furat certificatul de mason, iar lui eliade pe cel de roman. i-a furat ceasul soldatului necunoscut si virginitatea ecaterinei teodoroiu. i-a furat inspiratia lui eminescu si pe eminescu lui creanga. a furat costume de la apaca si caramizi din casa poporului. a furat petrol din conducte si buletine in tramvai.

i-a furat sticla lui vacaroiu’ si zacusca lui pruteanu. a furat inocenta lui nastase si cainii lui basescu.

in tara nu mai incapem de el. la televizor joaca in stirile de la ora 5, joaca in transmisiunile de la guvern si se mai odihneste arbitrand sau antrenand cand se hotarasc si altii sa joace. umple in proportie de 10% orice mijloc de transport, bulevard circulat si buzunar naiv.

la festivaluri peste granita ne mandrim cu el. premiul I timp de zece ani la festivalul de folclor “lebada de aur” – germania. locul I la individual compus si pe echipe la “capsuniada de vara” – spania. mentiune de onoare la gala “unde-s multi, e inghesuiala” – canada.

a imbogatit folcorul romanesc cu binecunoscutele zicale: “cand stapanul nu-i acasa, hotul departe ajunge”, “haina nu-l face pe om, da’ hotul ba!” sau “cum iti asterni, cum vine altul si se culca-n locul tau”.

i s-au scris citatii, plangeri, amenzi insa le-a ignorat pe toate preferand modestia anonimatului.

a aratat ca atat timp cat traieste el va trai si tara. si va avea grija sa o usureze de orice surplus. pentru ca el este un animal dresat in romania. cap de afis si element mitic.

romani, banii dumneavoastra au disparut! iar acesta este hotul dumneavoastra.

Romanian journalist plugs country on NPR show

The Bucharest bird flu quarantine was featured on NPR’s All Things Considered this afternoon, when host Mellisa Block interviewed Radu Tudor of Jurnalul National about the situation in the Romanian capital.

Tudor’s performance was similar to that of other journalists NPR calls in countries or regions they don’t have their own correspondents in. Tudor sounded as if he had done only rudimentary reporting (at best), and also displayed slight unease about answering follow-up questions. Again, nothing special given his role in this segment.

But in the end, he succesfully made his a memorable performance.

Tudor starts off by talking about the Bucharest bird flue situation, the measures taken by the government and the specifics of the quaratine (money per killed chicken, disinfecting houses etc). Then, as if struck by a Ministry of Tourism-operated lightning, Tudor, in ONE PARAGRAPH, succesfully promotes bird flu security, European integration, Romanian efficiency, all while inviting visitors to Bucharest and beyond. Delicious:

Melissa Block: Just to be clear here, there have been cases of avian flu detected among birds, but no cases of transmission to humans. Is that right?

Radu Tudor: No no, no cases. Romania will join the European Union on 1 January 2007, and from this point of view we are always very close connected with our EU partners. And we are taking European standard measures. And of course everything is under control in Romania, so there’s no danger for tourists or from people coming from outside Bucharest here.

Give the man a medal and a couple days off. Who said there was anything wrong with having a pro Romania-bias? You can listen to the interview in Real Audio here.

The Knight Ridder saga

Let me a start a chronology to build on for the next few weeks probably.

March 12: Word that McClatchy made the winning bid on Knight Ridder is out.

March 13: Sale is made official. McClatchy says it will put 12 of the papers it just bought up for sale.

March 14: Speculations for buyers of the dozen unwanted papers begin; interested parties include the Newspaper Guild, Gannet, MediaNews Group and (journalists hope) citizen groups willing to buy back their city papers.

March 28: Bids for the 12 papers McClatchy is putting up for sale are due today.

April 26: MediaNews group buys four of the 12 papers: San Jose Mercury News, Contra Costa Times, Monterey Herald and the St. Paul Pioneer Press.

May 23: The Philadelphia Inquirer and the Philadelphia Daily News are sold to a group of local investors united under the name Philadelphia Media Holdings. The price tag is $562 million.

Campionatul Mondial de Bere Romania 2006

Bere MondialSevereal suprising pairings emerged at the official drawing of the group stage of one of the most anticipated competitions of the summer. “Campionatul Mondial de Bere Romania 2006” (The World Beer Cup) is organized by Romerican with the blessing of consumer of horrid beer everywhere. (Owlspotting is a self-designated patron and booster–we were too cheap to opt for a sponsorship deal.)

Details on dates and venues will be released in the near future, but until them you can feast your eyes on the groups. Experts consider Group H (with Silva, Skol and Aurora Bruna) to be the group of death and expect several other close contests including a showdown of giants when Tuborg Strong takes on Bergenbier for the crown in Group H.

Sponsorship opportunities abound–including the chance to sponsor travel for some of the more unfortunate teams, including train-favorite Mamaia and church-marketed MaDonna.

May the pouring begin.

Brevity, clarity and the Economist

This week’s European Comission meeting (the one that supposedly was going to decide Romania’s European future) was pretty poorly covered by major American newspapers. But if you want the quick and dirty without swimming through Romanian media speculation or American media ignorance, just read the first two sentences of the Economist’s coverage of the result (which was near-perfect at 537 words):

ROMANIANS have a joke about driving to Greece. Tank up before you get to the Bulgarian border, lock the doors and windows, put your foot down and don’t stop until you reach the other frontier. Bulgarians say the same about driving north to Hungary. Other Europeans, it seems, would rather drive elsewhere.

Romania and Bulgaria are due to join the European Union on January 1st 2007. This week, the European Commission could have advised that they get the formal go-ahead. Instead it fudged. Preparations for admission should proceed, it says—but with a further review in the autumn of progress on reforms. If either country scores spectacularly badly then, its accession could be put off for a year.

Brainstorming a story idea (the mess of it)

Target CoutureEarlier today Elle and I got caught up in a Gmail chat about Target’s new haute couture offering. Elle was wondering how this could evolve into an essay and we incidentally held a brainstorming session. I thought it’s a great example of how story ideas can come about and decide to post it despite spelling errors and the like. Links were added later.

Elspeth: look at this. it’s bizarre. one more thing in the genre of “rich folk tryin’ to look po'”
me: or the other way around
Elspeth: nope. check out the prices. one of the makeup thingies is 900 bucks.
me: wow. jeans are 140.
Elspeth: yeah, exactly
me: it’s target begging for the upper middle class to shop there. that’s what it is
Elspeth: i don’t think it’s actually affiliated with target
me: oh, i just noticed that. then it’s even more lame
Elspeth: you see? how f’n weird is that? isn’t that over the line? i mean, distressed jeans, ok. “vintage” t-shirts, ok
me: target-chic, not ok
Elspeth: but whatever you call this? but, people who see you wearing that know it’s not really from target
me: but i don’t think they know. it’s like these people made clothes from all the new target ads
Elspeth: right.
me: it screams target because of the logo and because it looked to me as a logical progression of where the target brand seemed to be headed
Elspeth: ok, except target’s thing is “design for all.” aesthetic democracy. yet this is definitely, self-consciously, purposefully, not for all it’s like, “ha.”
me: target has okayed this

On May 11, 2006, Brand Central, a licensing company, will launch a new collection called Targèt Couture that focuses on Target’s red-and-white bullseye logo. The collection will initially be sold exclusively at Intuition specialty stores in California and will be launched at other specialty boutiques later this year.
– Target has authorized Brand Central to use its bullseye logo; designer interpretations of the logo will appear on each item in the collection.
– The collection includes designer pants, shirts, handbags, jewelry, and accessories; prices range from USD25 to USD3,000.
– The Targèt Couture collection will be launched at an event hosted by Intuition at the LA Social Hollywood Club

Elspeth: hmmm. do you think it would be possible to pull an essay out of that? on, say, conservative culture minus jesus?
me: i don’t see it
Elspeth: btw, this is so cute.
me: it’s clever marketing. read this:

Target is hitting the high end. The mass retailer’s trademark red-and-white bulls eye is the focus of a new fashion collection called Targèt Couture, which will be launched by Brand Central and California-based specialty retailer Intuition this month.

“Target’s fantastic marketing and their association with fashion designers have made the iconic bulls eye design a symbol of cool,” said Ross Misher, chief executive officer of Brand Central.

Brand Central, a licensing and brand company, developed the program and asked Target for permission to use their trademark for the collection. Brand Central specializes in developing brand extension programs on behalf of its clients, which include Kellogg’s, The Weinstein Company, E! Entertainment Television and Mark Burnett Productions.

Elspeth: ok. so low culture for rich folk? sort of like the complete inverse of target with its “collections” created by famous designers?
me: i guess i don’t see target as low culture. it’s more of mass culture which now tried to make it into rich niches
Elspeth: mass is low and rich is high. high connotes exclusivity
me: to me this is more of an economic survical/branding story. big box retailer moves opens boutique on rodeo drive kinda deal.
Elspeth: you don’t think it says anything about the culture?
me: The median Target shopper is 41 years old, which is the youngest of all major discount retailers that Target competes directly against. The median household income of Target’s customer base is roughly $58,000 USD. Roughly eighty percent of Target customers are female, and about 43 percent have children at home. About eighty percent have attended college and 43 percent have completed college [from Wikipedia]
Elspeth: i mean, why would a big box retailer move to rodeo drive?
me: yes it does. but this is not wal-mart moving to rodeo drive. that’s why i don’t think you can make that jump from low to high.
Elspeth: they already make enough money
me: because of wal-mart
Elspeth: what? what do you mean, you can’t make that jump from low to high?
me: i mean you can’t say low culture to high culture when you talk target. it’s not that extreme of a change. plus, think of how you would react if you read that. i think it’s a great story that to survive in the wal-mart age, target is not trying to beat them in the cheap and crappy, but is moving in the opposite direction-better and more expensive
Elspeth: what do you mean it’s not that big a change????? a necklace at target is $9. these are $900.
me: i’m talking branding wise not in terms of price
Elspeth: nooooooooooooooooooooooooo. cheapness is the most important part of target’s brand identity and besides, people who buy $900 purses do not think of target the same way we do
me: it could an interesting thing to report
Elspeth: omg, there’s a hoodie with the bullseye and fleur de lis. wtf?
me: it’d be awesome to talk to people who are expert in brand perception and see why target thinks this will look “in character” to customers. it looks in character to me. it doesn’t look in character to you. That’s the story.
Elspeth: $200 hoodies are significant in the first place because they are what po’ folks wear and now with the symbol of where po’ folks shop. it’s like erasing poverty from american culture. this hoodie is what it looks like to be poor in America. see? there are no class divisions. everyone wears $200 hoodies
me: i think that would be a fascinating essay but i wouldn’t be comfortable writing that without reporting
Elspeth: yeah
me: you could pitch something like that: “is target consciously or unconsciously blurring class distinction?” and then report it to have some ammo to fire in the story
Elspeth: perhaps. is it in any way conservative? or liberal guilt or what?
me: that’s what reporting would tell you
Elspeth: hmmm.
me: it’s ultimately money
Elspeth: always. but that’s America.
me: target’s already been accused of racism and being anti-poor
Elspeth: [brb]
me: and both in the past couple of years
me:

“We started recognizing about a year ago that influencers and trendsetters were proud to show off their Target product from the store, and the brand and the iconic bulls-eye had become such a fashion of cool from their fantastic advertising and what they’ve done with their stores,” said Misher. “We came up with the idea at Brand Central and approached Jaye Hersh, who immediately came on board as the designer and retail partner for the collection. Together we approached Target for the permission to use their marks to create high-end fashion items based on the iconic bulls-eye.”

The collection will launch at other specialty boutiques later in the year, he said. National marketing and advertising by Intuition are in the planning stages.

“Target is so hip and cool now and Intuition is the hip place to shop in Los Angeles,” said Hersh. “It’s a perfect fit to be able to have the iconic bulls-eye represented in hip clothing and accessories and to be able to launch the product here. I think it’s going to be huge.”

Elspeth: hmmm.
me: that’s from a story in “brandweek.” it’s a fascinating dichotomy.
me: Many people go there for the cheap alternatives. Some go there because it’s trendy to dress from mass-retail stores. The company sees itself as being upscale in relation to Wal-Mart and Kmart. And the advertising world is convinced Target is a brand that can play across the economic and social spectrum. That is one f’n brilliant story.
Elspeth: yeah it’s crazy. again, target got popular by appropriating luxury design and mass manufacturing it for the masses. and now target’s brand is being appropriated for luxury boutiques
me: awesome, huh?
Elspeth: and limited release, etc. yeah. but are there other examples of anything close to this that can round out the story?
me: It’s like this. You build your brand by endorsing quality, which in turn (and in time) will make your own brand say “quality.”
Elspeth: i mean, where else is there an example of this, except maybe in the luxe faux vintage candy brand tees?
me: it’s everywhere
Elspeth: but the money factor has to be in there
me: it’s creating automatic value by association
Elspeth: endorsing quality for cheap
me: david bowie endorsing clap your hands and say yeah
Elspeth: you owe me this, btw.
me: morrissey singing with arcade fire
Elspeth: hmmm… but cyhsy was never mass market. it’d be like bowie endorsing avril lavigne
me: yes. correct
Elspeth: AFTER she publicly misprnounced his name
me: no. it’d have to be almost reversed. like a punk cover of a classic that makes you a classic
Elspeth: which is then covered by the symphony
me: sid vicious covering frank Sinatra. and then sid vicious becoming boutique erchandise
Elspeth: cyhsy covering avril covering billie holiday. Right. well, he is. you can buy his mug on a $75 t shirt
me: if you associate yourself with something that’s been accepted as good, valuable etc, your own brand could be labeled like that
Elspeth: or PBR underwriting all things considered
me: that’s the closest example– because it has to be a partnership. designers saying yes target, make cheap versions of what we do and npr saying, yes pbr, we’ll take your money and then when pbr will say, let’s put out a beer flavor for the 150,000 and up
Elspeth: right
me: it will make sense in terms of evolution
Elspeth: i think there were some whisperings last summer about PBR targeting hispters
Elspeth: [i’m just thinking “outloud”, so we can develop this idea… cool?]
me: [without going too far, that’s what i didn’t like about art school confidential. to me there was not a link that enabled me to believe the narrative of the transition. i understand and believe why target is doing this.]
me: [if this was wrestling, the target storyline would be one flawlessly executed character change–there is a cause and effect to every little step] and they are believable
Elspeth: ok. Right. but i still want to concentrate on the class issues. i don’t want to anthropomorphize target. i want to paint it as a cartoon of some social phenomenon
me: ok. it’s valid question to ask where target stands when it comes to class and the awesomeness will be in the competing views you’ll get from customers, marketers and the company itself.
Elspeth: maybe i think of it as a lack of thinking? like target is subconsciously acting on the american id… or something?
me: it might look like a confused brand, but bluriness is what sells. what’s low? what’s high? the correct response is “be as confused as society and sell to all”
Elspeth: i mean, lots of scholarship has been done on “poverty chic.” that not just me being all senstive class warrior
me: what if today’s america (or maybe everywhere) faces a struggle for definition or a blurring of all class divisions. While some companies try to find the niche where they’ll work best, Target seems to not give a fuck and be a blurry company that has build a brand that not only allows but encourages social-class confusion. [i almost wrote a pitch here ]
Elspeth: hmmm. but i don’t see target so pure and beaming and utopian. i think it acknowledges class
me: i’m not saying they are doing it on purpose. that’s for the reporting to find out
Elspeth: hmmm. you know, the boutique in which this is being sold specializes in that mary kate and ashley version of hobo-chic
me: i don’t think you have to find out the answer in order to pitch the story if that’s what you are trying to do
Elspeth: true. i don’t know
me: not before writing it anyway
Elspeth: i have to have more to say than that this is weird
me: you do have more to say. you can put some hypothesis there and say you want to know what it’s like. and a good editor will help
Elspeth: hmm.
Elspeth: well, i’m going to think on it a bit.